A romance scam is when someone builds a relationship with you online, then asks for money, personal information, access to your account, or help moving funds. The relationship can feel completely real — the person may spend weeks or months building trust before asking for anything, often using intense affection and talk of a shared future to speed that trust along.
How it happens
You meet someone through a dating app, social media, an online group, a game, a forum, or a messaging app. They seem kind, interested, and emotionally available. They may say they're overseas, working away, in the military, on an oil rig, travelling for business, or unable to meet because of family or work circumstances.
Once the relationship develops, they ask for help — medical bills, travel costs, visa or customs fees, a family emergency, a business problem, or an investment opportunity. The first request is often small. If you pay, more requests usually follow.
Warning signs
Be cautious if: the relationship becomes intense very quickly, they avoid meeting in person or on live video, they make excuses when you ask direct questions, emergencies keep recurring, they ask for money by bank transfer, gift card, crypto, or money transfer, or they pressure you to keep the relationship secret. Remitly's scam guidance also highlights love-bombing, stolen profile photos, requests to move off the dating platform, and AI-generated messages or images as common tactics.
How to protect yourself
- Take your time — there's no genuine reason to rush a request for money.
- Speak to someone you trust before sending anything.
- Don't send money to someone you haven't met in person and verified independently.
If the person becomes angry, upset, distant, or threatening when you pause to think, treat that as a warning sign in itself.
If you think you've already sent money
- Stop making any further payments.
- Keep the conversation records: screenshots, profile links, photos, messages, phone numbers, email addresses, and payment details.
- Contact your bank or payment provider, and consider reporting it to the relevant authority in your country.
- Contact us as soon as possible, if an Xe transfer was involved.
You don't need to feel embarrassed
Romance scams are built to exploit normal emotions — trust, care, empathy, and companionship. Being targeted doesn't mean you were careless, and it's worth reporting what happened as soon as you can, even if it feels difficult to talk about.
When you contact us, use our Help Centre.